The Tricks of the Trade

It has only been a short while since he has been deployed, I am slowly learning all my tricks to keeping my mind off the distance and that we have the whole time still to pass.

My trade tools : 

Sleeping pills.

I have Always had problems sleeping, but more so when He is gone. The first week I only got about 2 hours of sleep. A person can not function on that! And I refuse to take a prescription sleep aid, they are dangerous for me. Two 3mg Melatonin a night for about a week help me get back on a decent sleep schedule. This way I can work, and take care of the kids instead of being sleep deprived. Please consult your doctor before taking ANY sort of sleeping medications.  I put this at the top of MY list because I find it absolutely impossible to sleep when he is gone.

Stationary!
No Wife's trade bag would be complete with out a full set of stationary!
Now I am just using regular old white envelopes and legal sized paper, but writing not only helps me get things off my chest, but lets him know our day to day. I know there are TONS of blogs that tell you never tell your deployed spouse anything negative.. But not every deployment is the same, and not every spouse is the same. I tell him EVERYTHING, I tell him what we had for dinner, that the kids are driving me insane. I tell him how well my workouts went (or didn't), about my day at work, even scolded him a little bit for leaving all his tools outside before he left.. So far I have written twice a day except for one day. Work days are hard to get two letters in. I know my husband can handle good or bad news, and I know he would be very very upset with me if I withheld anything from him. If something goes wrong, I tell him. He may not be able to fix it, but he can give advice on how to or even moral support. They are not the only ones who need support.
This keeps me sane, this keeps him in the loop of day to day events and gives him something to do in down time. A bit of home, in a foreign land. I think I may go get some fancy stationary when I run out of envelopes, something wild and crazy maybe. Just to fun it up a bit =).

                                                                                 

Folding laundry is a distraction. With 4 people left in the house.. 

Alex, one of my cats lends his paws to fold the laundry
My boys go through a lot of it. lol
Plus on top of the laundry, I have rearranged my dresser drawers, and room. 
I plan on the kids room and office next. 

                                                                     

I am working on what I call a "waiting necklace". It will have a couple charms and a yellow ribbon, has a watch face, and a picture of him. waiting for the other charms to come in.

Tablet and Phone:

The times have changed! It is truly amazing how easy many of us can communicate with our loved ones across the world. You will see this in many of the pictures I take because they are always near by. You never know when he will get the chance to call! You never know if he is going to wake up in the middle of the night and need you to be there. Most wives I know sleep with both of these next to their pillows. I am included in that. Skype (or face-time for you apple peeps) is a wonderful program! I couldn't even imagine living in a time, I cant see is face. I don't know how women did it.... They are stronger than I. I don't leave a room without these tools. They are always within arms reach when I am at home.

On my cellphone I recorded all of our conversations before deployment. When I need to hear that I Love You he said in everyone of them, its only a play button away. This helps me keep him just a little closer.
I also plan on isolating the I Love you sound wave and getting it as a tattoo.

His Stuff: 

Some people feel the need to put away their spouse things, Ya know, just put it in the usual place. But I feel the need to keep some of his things out in full view. Normally his motorcycle gear would be up, I put it on a hook in our room.
Which it will probably stay there even after he gets back, I like the look of it lol. I am going to put my gear right next to it. I guess I just feel a little better with it out. Helps flow the good memories instead of dwelling on the wait. Instead of laying awake at night thinking about the distance I can lay awake at night thinking about the last ride we took together, Or how sexy he is on his bike hehe.

Our Beginning

I started thinking I needed to write down my thoughts during this deployment.
Maybe If I get them out there, they might help someone later on.
There is tons of advice out there. Advice on how to get ready, what to send, what to say , what not to say. But I do not see much of how anyone gets through it.
"Say strong" "you chose this life" or "it could be worse" are things I as an Air Force with hear a lot. I hear it from Civilians, Family, even other Military Wives. Yes, we all know it could be worse, and yes I did choose this. That doesn't make it any easier. That doesn't make me miss him any less. And HOW, How do I "Stay strong"?  How do you take your very soul , the person that is your home and stay strong with out them? I am still learning this!
We have had it very lucky in his military career, so far he only deployed once his first enlistment and now the very start of his second he is gone again.And his career field give him the benefit of being near the internet even when deployed so we do get to talk more then most.  We have not moved from base to base, we have been stationed at one since he got out of tech school. Not to shabby. Very easy we have had it so far.

           This deployment I was terrified going into, We knew for a long time he was going (way longer then usual) which only meant I had a long time to think about all that went wrong the first time and all that could go wrong this time.
The first time, I was 13 weeks pregnant with our second child. During that pregnancy I became very sick. I couldn't walk, sit, lay or stand without being in pain from my pelvis. I was in and out of the ER the entire 9 months due to dehydration because my morning sickness never ended. And to top it all of I was gestational diabetic from 4 months til the end. This caused them to require me have the baby at a certain time... Time was not on our side. Air Force deployments are usually 6 months long , which is not long at all looking at other branches. He might make it in time, or they could keep him longer. Yes, yes I know military wives have babies without the fathers all the time.. I know several in my circle who have had to do it more then once. But still. No one really wants him to miss the birth.. Especially with such a high risk as what I was walking into. I was depressed and whatever could go wrong did. We were not prepared like I thought we were.
    Fast forward 3 years and putting that deployment behind me, I am trying very hard to make this one work for us. This Blog will be my journey through learning to build myself and my children up, all while taking care of him from afar. I have already started with him I made cards telling him all the ways I am proud and why I love him. I write him at least once-a-day so far there have been a lot of twice-a-days. I have the kids video themselves and send it to him. Which we found out today he cant watch because his internet is not so great, so we have to find a way around that.
For my boys I made sure they had their Daddy Dolls  with his voice recorded inside..but even before the deployment, one broke. I had ordered another voice box but it was misplaced just before Daddy left. In comes the computer! Daddy recorded a video and once I found the voice box the video got recorded onto is and now its back in the Daddy Doll! Both boys sleep with it every night, and every hug is their daddy telling them he loves them. They have count down jars, every night we move one stone over so they can watch one side raise while the other lowers. They remind me every night.
And for myself I have decided to become his trophy wife.Through the years I have added some extra me to go around, and I want him to come home to the wife he once had. Healthier and thinner. Means exercise and eating better then what we had been.
So this is the start. A look through the eyes of a Air Force wife.

The Upsides to Deployment

So from all the negativity I had my last deployment I have decided to try to think of one "Deployment Upside" a day. I missed some days but here is my start :

Deployment Upside #1 :  I don't have to shave! My legs can stay warm all winter! lol . Ok, ok , I will probably shave(most likely will) but i don't HAVE to! I wont be getting dressed up to go on dates, I wont have to worry about him complaining my leg hairs are poking him in bed! 

Deployment Upside #2 : I can drive all the time!  haha ! no more fighting for who is in the drivers seat! ... no more him grabbing me and pulling me out of the drivers seat in a crowed gas station parking lot (lol, yes we are weird!) Well At least no more FOR NOW! In a few months we will be bickering like 12 year olds again about who gets to drive.. (he usually wins lol he is stronger then he looks!)

Deployment Upside #3 : I dont have to fight for the blankets! Every morning Hubby will complain I stole all the covers! Well Now I really do have them all!!