Our Beginning

I started thinking I needed to write down my thoughts during this deployment.
Maybe If I get them out there, they might help someone later on.
There is tons of advice out there. Advice on how to get ready, what to send, what to say , what not to say. But I do not see much of how anyone gets through it.
"Say strong" "you chose this life" or "it could be worse" are things I as an Air Force with hear a lot. I hear it from Civilians, Family, even other Military Wives. Yes, we all know it could be worse, and yes I did choose this. That doesn't make it any easier. That doesn't make me miss him any less. And HOW, How do I "Stay strong"?  How do you take your very soul , the person that is your home and stay strong with out them? I am still learning this!
We have had it very lucky in his military career, so far he only deployed once his first enlistment and now the very start of his second he is gone again.And his career field give him the benefit of being near the internet even when deployed so we do get to talk more then most.  We have not moved from base to base, we have been stationed at one since he got out of tech school. Not to shabby. Very easy we have had it so far.

           This deployment I was terrified going into, We knew for a long time he was going (way longer then usual) which only meant I had a long time to think about all that went wrong the first time and all that could go wrong this time.
The first time, I was 13 weeks pregnant with our second child. During that pregnancy I became very sick. I couldn't walk, sit, lay or stand without being in pain from my pelvis. I was in and out of the ER the entire 9 months due to dehydration because my morning sickness never ended. And to top it all of I was gestational diabetic from 4 months til the end. This caused them to require me have the baby at a certain time... Time was not on our side. Air Force deployments are usually 6 months long , which is not long at all looking at other branches. He might make it in time, or they could keep him longer. Yes, yes I know military wives have babies without the fathers all the time.. I know several in my circle who have had to do it more then once. But still. No one really wants him to miss the birth.. Especially with such a high risk as what I was walking into. I was depressed and whatever could go wrong did. We were not prepared like I thought we were.
    Fast forward 3 years and putting that deployment behind me, I am trying very hard to make this one work for us. This Blog will be my journey through learning to build myself and my children up, all while taking care of him from afar. I have already started with him I made cards telling him all the ways I am proud and why I love him. I write him at least once-a-day so far there have been a lot of twice-a-days. I have the kids video themselves and send it to him. Which we found out today he cant watch because his internet is not so great, so we have to find a way around that.
For my boys I made sure they had their Daddy Dolls  with his voice recorded inside..but even before the deployment, one broke. I had ordered another voice box but it was misplaced just before Daddy left. In comes the computer! Daddy recorded a video and once I found the voice box the video got recorded onto is and now its back in the Daddy Doll! Both boys sleep with it every night, and every hug is their daddy telling them he loves them. They have count down jars, every night we move one stone over so they can watch one side raise while the other lowers. They remind me every night.
And for myself I have decided to become his trophy wife.Through the years I have added some extra me to go around, and I want him to come home to the wife he once had. Healthier and thinner. Means exercise and eating better then what we had been.
So this is the start. A look through the eyes of a Air Force wife.